• Jodi Howe

If We're Honest!

"Truth is harder than a lie. The dark seems safer than the light. and Everyone has a heart that loves to hide.

I'm a mess and so are you............."

I love that song. It so speaks to me! As I am a mess and so are you! BUT.........there is hope.

To be honest, i've been very negligent towards my blog lately and it's been very heavy on my heart.

I haven't been able to find the words, aka, (writers block, bloggers block) and all of that adds to an overwhelming feeling of failure. Not to mention the lack of consistently for my precious readers.

Then, I have to remind myself that even though I am the daughter of the one true king, I am still human, imperfect, broken and yes, tired. And my big picture dream, I can't save all of the souls of the world,....yeah, that's a little too ambitious. To put it into a true and reasonable perspective, I'm not really trying to save the world, I'm just hoping that I can be a vessel to as many hearts as possible to direct them to Jesus. Now that's not too ambitious is it? Yet to encourage people to seek a relationship with Jesus; reevaluate their world views. I am learning that is no easy task.

But as Jesus states in the Bible:

Matthew 29:19-20

19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

I am taking that literally. I will never give up! And thank God the real work is not on me!

My initial interest in blogging was mainly to provide a platform for starting the conversation on anxiety and how God's love can work wonders in healing those who suffer. Although anxiety has been my cross to bare, these past few years have brought me to the cross more times than I could have ever imagined. With subjects that didn't necessarily include general anxiety disorder. Marriage, parenting, finances, health crisis, church hurt (to name a few). Put it this way, I consider Jesus my best friend because we DO talk a lot.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Such a source of peace to ultimate Joy and yes, even rest!

The initial subject of anxiety is still something I feel led to use as a platform. I know so much more now than I did during my early days of suffering and I want to share those tips, scriptures, testimonies because I believe they can offer hope and a light to those in pain. I don't want to see people suffering.

Yet my journey has proved it's not just about anxiety. It's become a course in learning who Christ really is and how he needs to be in our lives. I am studying more and seeing the importance of the Gospels and observing how the world, current culture of religion and the understanding of the one true God is so off kilter!

I have met so many people who have their own "versions" of Jesus and (in my opinion) very wobbly personal walks. Mainly due to strict christian upbringings that fed them with guilt and religious "solitary confinement". Some continue to live in conflict due to religious leaders/pastors who have diluted bible teachings, watered down gospels, offered grey versions (teachings) of the Bible & God just to keep some feeling safe and accepted in life. Only to see those "versions" are unsustainable as they have yet to find hope in Christ or even growth in life for that matter. Assumably "those leaders" were leading with love, (I hope with good intentions) but altering the truth to cater to the "hear what they want to hear" crowd" as opposed to the "hear what they need to hear" people. That's irresponsible! I'm not saying it; God is!

James 2:10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.

Matthew 7:15-20 “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

Some leaders lean so strongly on the following scripture making the other 66 books "choice" scriptures.

Of course Matthew 22:36-40 (is relevant)

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

"Hang on", yes! Override the rest of scripture? I don't think so. If Love Thy Neighbor, was all Jesus's was trying to say, why need the bible at all?

One verse is not sustainable for an overall christian worldview. For one reason, there are a whole slew of stories, rules, prophecies, directions that outline how to live abundantly, safely, vibrantly, wholesomely. Not easily; but yes, sometimes Joyfully. I am learning more and more God's word was intended to speak into our worlds through encouragement, offering hope and promises for what's to come by teaching us from what has been. Inevitably, (by example) wanting us to be more like him because he is the way, the truth and the life. And by that, truth and life become your ultimate focus as you walk alongside Jesus; hence your old worldview becomes unsustainable and inevitably shifts you towards a new worldview through the eyes of Jesus Christ.

So how is this obtainable? Well, I am still learning. But what I can offer is a starting point. Talking to Jesus. Not formally, not necessarily in his church or through a planned event. Right here, right now, asking him to show you....Him.! Here is an example:

"Hi Jesus". Please come into my heart and show me who you are. Teach me your ways so I can grow to know you more and walk by faith and not by sight; or adhere to the ways of this world! In your name, Amen!"

I am learning more about world views, perspectives, hope in eternity. Finding that if humans are not in sync with these, they tend to not be in sync with each other. Enter pain, suffering, divorce, anger, conflict, hurt, division! It's gotten deeper as I go deeper in Christ. Yet the revolutions I am discovering are quite scary too.

Although no one is immune to suffering or pain, even christians, I am seeing more and more those who have Christ in their hearts, handle life more gracefully.

I've even had several "lightbulb moments" with a birds eye view that suffering can be minimal or even eradicated if you consider a few sources to apply towards your healing. Heck, I even wrote a book about it! (still waiting on God's timing to publish)!

I still know in my heart that Jesus is able to give you peace in your storm(s) because when the mental tide is high for me, I shift right to Christ, his word, his promises and then this gentle peace washes over me. Am I crazy, making all this up, psycho, foolish? Does it matter? I am getting that peace he promised! That's what is most important. And I so badly want people to get that by getting to know Jesus.

So the question still stands, why do people avoid God and a relationship with Jesus?

Is it immaturity? Fear? Lack of energy?, as if to say becoming a follower takes a lot of work! Well it kind of does. But it's a good work. I promise you that.

So, what is it?

I often struggle with this.

I have even encountered a-lot of people saying things like this:

"Don't be too religiously around people you're not sure are believers. They may not be ready or willing to walk in faith".

"Don't try to push it on them or be too preachy".

"Be sensitive when using scripture or referencing the Bible".

"If you come off as being too much of a "Jesus freak" people will shy away and be resentful".

"If people want a relationship with Jesus it will happen on their own time".

"Be PC and respect that there are many religions, styles, custom beliefs in God and yours is not the most important nor the only truth"!

There is some truth to this. But I can't help but think if those were God's motives through Apostles, prophets, christian leaders, pastors? To stay conformable and sensitive to naysayers in terms of proclaiming Jesus as our one and only savior; Hmmmm, where would I be right now!? Not Free.

I struggle with this day in and day out; the need to understand why everybody is not on board nurturing a relationship with Jesus. I am a believer, so I pray that so many people that I love and care about also benefit from a relationship with Jesus Christ. God can move mountains. Changing a heart is his superpower!

I read through the Facebook newsfeed each and every day and I see a lot of suffering, conflict, anger. Suffering that shouldn't be happening in lives. A suffering that would be less painful or even nonexistent if people would change their world views and consider acting on the living word in sync with Christ. I don't have all the answers, I just know from experience that he has saved my life and has given me a joy that I did not have before loving him.

So if you're willing, I'm going to ask a question and I'm just looking for an honest answer. If you're questioning God and Jesus and are afraid or are not willing to have a relationship with him, can you just simply and honestly tell me why?

I have a message center through my blog. Please message me through my CONTACT page. Your stories, testimonies, comments are very important to me.

I thank you in advance for answering this and for your honesty. This is not a judgment call, it is simply to help me understand.

Let's bring our brokenness to God.

He is Good. And so are you!


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I have been absent from writing for over 5 months. It was certainly a busy 1/2 of year celebrating the holidays, working, singing, family visits, thyroid issues, Christmas, New Years and life. Not i